I’d rather be whole than good -carl jung

For starters— Carl Jung is known for having said, “I’d rather be whole, than good.”

Over the past year, this quote has been stuck in my head. When we were children what was one thing we heard the most? Be good, you better be good. As I grew into an adult, motherhood, thru my 20’s && early 30’s I lived by that concept. To be good, make sure everyone was happy. It wasn’t until my mid 30’s when I realized a part of me felt like it was missing. I had been desperately lying to myself thinking things were okay. I was in an unhappy marriage— not an extremely earth shatteringly unhappy one, but one that slowly sucked life from you one day at a time. (It was both of us. && now he’s a great friend && co-parent). I made some choices (most would want me to say they were poor choices) but they were just choices I acted on with the feelings that I felt. I stepped away from all I was, my marriage, who I was all those years. (I was so good. I laid in bed && read books most days. Not because I couldn’t have freedom— I was just that good). && I stepped into something completely different for a few years, in search for wholeness.

We’re all out here trying to reach this place of wholeness. Chasing it; one mishap at a time, one lesson at a time. Some succeed && others will be searching for the rest of their life…

I’ll tell you a secret. I realized, (at a very slow pace) when you stay true to you, to your inner voice && soul && wants… needs… passion— move thru your life with intention…. Even on some occasions when judgment && morality don’t mix. That is where true happiness && wholeness lie. If you cannot internally categorize these things, you need to do the work. Now I’m not saying intentionally hurt people. If that makes you feel whole, you are a sociopath && seek help. I’m talking about the the whole “follow you heart” cliché statement you’ve heard many times. && sometimes the way you feel for a person, place or thing can unintentionally hurt people. BUT. && this is a big but! I think it’s a beautiful thing to follow your heart, but make sure you trust your intuition at the same time. You can quickly lose yourself && you will be going the opposite direction of “wholeness”.

I have a friend that always says, “I never said I was good,” when his judgment && morality don’t mix with society’s norm. I find it to be a great statement. There are going to be people that don’t agree with a lot of things I’ve done, do, will do in my life. Or even with this blog. It’s beautiful to have your own opinion, no one has to agree on anything. The thing is, it’s MY life. It’s your life && you only have this one life… (another cliche’ statement).

When I’m old && life is coming to an end, do I want to look back on my life && say, “man, I was good” or “man, I was whole”? I’m going with the latter…